Am I (also) the cause???
Unconscious roots
ICA Syndrome
Let us try to find out what are the broad reasons of divorce - what transpires in most married minds and what changes delight into fright. There is an ICA syndrome which sums up all the reasons of couples choosing to part ways. Not only for divorce, all inter-personal human problems belong to these three categories:
Infatuation -
"I love you and I am dependent on you for my happiness. You are made only for me. If you share your love with anybody else, I get scared and possessive. You should care only for me and nobody else." There are cases where people can be jealous even of their own children!
Control -
"You should follow what I expect of you. You should do what I want you to. I know the best. You know much less. You should fulfill all my desires and expectations." Approval -
"You should respect me. You should approve of me and what I do. You should never disapprove or disrespect me." The basic root of ICA is the understanding that one's fulfillment comes from others. Can it ever be true?
What appears to be rosy in the beginning tends to become quite thorny later on. Let us accept that the result of ICA is suffering for both the partners. If you find yourself entrapped by ICA and still feel that the fulfillment of these desires will lead to happiness, you are unconsciously opting for misery.
